Barry Goldwater, Our Chief Inspiration Officer

Barry Goldwater, Our Chief Inspiration Officer
Moderation In The Pursuit Of Justice Is No Virtue; Extremism In The Defense Of Liberty Is No Vice

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Clinique for Me[n]

Clinique for Me[n]



A note on terminology: I don't like the term cosmetics (I'll use it only when absolutely fitting). Neither do I like the word grooming, it sounds like something animals get done to them (again, it's occasionally called for).

My objection to these terms isn't just their feminine (former) or animal (latter) connotations. They're fundamentally inaccurate. Personal care is more closely related to other comprehensive health practices than it is to purely aesthetic ones (like choosing the right deep V). The complexity and chemistry involved in finding good personal care products is more like the complexity and chemistry involved in finding the right foods to eat and the right exercises to do.


Men's personal care companies don't embrace any of the existing terminology either. I predict that in the
next ten years, the industry - and its consumers (like me) - will settle on one word which will become predominant. In the interim, there are all sorts of wacky attempts at circumventing classic terminology.

Clinque, the focus of this article, bills its line of men’s care products simply as 'skin supplies for men'. Supplies? Sounds more like Officemax or Staples than Beautyboutique. But E for effort, Clinque, and way to keep your simple theme and character consistent (more on that later).

Of all the euphemisms and creative copy writing, my favorite belongs to Anthony Logistics for Men. They're so good they even built it into their name. What's their name? Anthony Logistics for Men. What does their range offer? Logistics... for men. Touché.

With your permission, Anthony, I'm going to co-opt your terminology, at least until something better comes up. Okay? Silence implies consent (right, Thomas Moore?). Lovely.
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Clinique for Me[n]

I've tried a lot of stuff.

I mean a lot.

I mean I go to cosmetics counters and ask about products they don't even know exist (because they were only offered in Europe or the States or direct through the company's website).

In my experience, there are two kinds of lines. There are the kind which, by some combination of luck and magic produce one incredibly good product and the kind which, through consistent application of a superior philosophy produce a range of superior products.

Vichy Homme’s 'Hydramag Chryo Cooling Under Eye Stick' is an example of the former. It's the best cooling eye stick, indeed, the best all round eye product I've tried to date. The rest of their line is exceptionally unexceptional.

Clinique for Men is the latter. Every single product Clinique for Men makes exudes quality and practical utility.

Long before you notice what Clinique does, you'll notice what they don't do. They don’t do gimmicky packages. No putting their products in containers that look like auto parts to get Joe Savage comfortable enough with the idea of taking care of himself that he can buy a 10 dollar shave cream, or, perish the thought, a moisturizer. No bright shiny silver chrome plated Harley-Davidson looking diamond plate boxes. No promises of insta-lust. No promises of anything - except superior skin care.

In truth, it's not just the Joe Savage types that fall prey to pretty packaging. For years before I gave Clinique a try, I was a Biotherm Homme devotee. My first foray in to logistics, beyond Oxi swabs or Addidas cologne was with Biotherm. Their stuff looks sexy. It feels sexy. It's bright and French and their packages are covered in pictures that promise pretty tubes and prettier faces.

Clinique has none of this. Clinique has clinical looking (though resoundingly masculine), plain black boxes. No graphics. Nothing fancy. It's enough to scare you over to something brighter. But I took a big risk and...

I was disappointed - at first. My initial Clinique for Men purchase was a 3.5 'Scruffing Lotion'. It did look kind of cool, a blue liquid in a transparent square plastic bottle (pictured above). I used it once, didn't care for it, and left in my medicine cabinet, to do what it did best: look cool.

And cool it looked, for months, years even. Until... something came over me and I bought Clinique for Men 'Extra Strength Face Soap'. It came in a cool little dish. The dish probably prompted me to purchase it more than anything. Of course, the dish was no extravagance,  just the simplest way to hold the simplest of all cleansers: a bar of soap.

The soap worked well. Really well. Deep cleaning, clean rinsing, and super efficient (after three months I’m half way through my first bar). When I bought the soap, I, like a good logistics consumer, read the literature inside (something I should have done years earlier when I bought the scruffing lotion - oh silly youthful indiscretions). Turns out I’d been using the scruffing lotion the wrong way. It’s not applied gently with a cotton swab, like a traditional toner, but rather with a wash cloth used in vigorous, circular strokes. On top of that, it’s really only effective after using the cleansing soap. So I took the scruffing lotion down from its position of prominent disuse in my medicine cabinet, and started to use it in conjunction with the face soap. What a difference it made! What a team! What a range!

The core of Clinque’s for-men line is their three step system. The first is the face soap (regular or extra strength, depending on your skin type). The second is the scruffing lotion (one of four varieties, again, depending on skin type). The third is a protective moisturizer (either gel or lotion for normal and dry skin, respectively).

Clinque for men is easily my favorite line at the moment. I have been known to be rather fickle about these things, but I am really impressed with their range. I just recently purchased their M Lotion Gel, the ultra light weight daily moisturizer that comprises the third step (above).

I bought their Age Defense eye cream too. Eye creams are probably THE most complex and intricate (not to mention the most expensive) logistics purchase a man will make, and I intend to focus an entire article on them. Without going into detail then, so far, so good.

The only other Clinique for Men product I've purchased was their unscented antiperspirant. Like the rest of the line, its quality is beyond reproach. The cylindrical shape was surprisingly easy to apply, and it's sleek black packaging is a refreshing departure from the adolescent appearance of most antiperspirants. Still, it was lackluster. Not bad and not great, and certainly not worth the 14.00 dollar price tag. Clinique's historical strength is facial care, and that's probably where it should keep its focus. Only the most stalwart brand loyalist would be well advised for follow Clinque into realms best left to Old Spice.

I highly recommend Clinque for Men. Should you choose to purchase any element of their range though, there are a few things you should be aware of. Clinque’s commitment to simplicity means that the texture and character of their products is probably different than anything you’ve used before. For instance, Clinique products are fragrance and dye free. If you’re used to bright, delicious smelling products from the likes of Biotherm or Nivea, it’ll take some getting used to.

But don’t mistake their commitment to simplicity as a green washing move (thanks for the term, Ben Cappellacci). Clinique isn’t all about nature and some exotic mud from a place you can’t pronounce or find on a map. Clinque is about what works: everything that does, nothing that doesn’t. That said, if you’re opposed to using anything that came out of a lab, look elsewhere.

Also note that Clinque products are meant for the serious logistics consumer. They’re somewhat expensive and they’re far from idiot proof. Unlike Vichy’s roll and go stick, it is very easy to overuse the super fine Clinque Age Defense eye cream so be careful. Similarly, the scruffing lotion really requires proper technique for optimal results. You might also have to purchase more (preferably white) washcloths, as you’ll be using at least one per day to apply the lotion.

All together, Clinque for Men is a fantastic line.

Political allies, look sharp. Political opponents, you might as well look sharp too, for the day you get CAUGHT, RED HANDED.

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